Don't Mention the War . . . Especially During the FA Cup Final

You have to hand it to those Brits. When planning an "Emergency Demonstration" for this Saturday in London, the fine folks at the Stop the War Coalition had the foresight to realize, "Oy, mate—but inn't that the same time as the Cup Final then?" Yes, nothing is more important than stopping the war in Iraq—unless of course it's watching Manchester United and Millwall fight to the bitter end in Cardiff. Protest organizers graciously altered the time of the London demonstration to ensure that all anti-war protesters would be able to make it back to the local pub in time for the match.

"We realise that the Cup Final is a major event," Stop the War Coalition organizer Andrew Burgin told a news conference. "We expect the rally to be finished by three o'clock so people can get back to watch the match." It's nice to know that in a world filled with chaos, some people still have their priorities straight. Now we just need to hope the match isn't decided on penalty kicks . . .

I had to chuckle when I read that a Stradivarius cello valued at $3.5 million was nearly made into a CD rack this week in Los Angeles. Seems the absent-minded player from the Los Angeles Philharmonic who had custody of the symphony-owned instrument forgot it near his car on the porch when he got home from rehearsal, and in the wee hours of the morning an enterprising boy on a bicycle nicked it and drove it a few blocks before heaving it into a dumpster. A young nurse found it the next day and decided it would make a bitchin' CD rack, so she gave it to her boyfriend to work on. Fortunately the man was not highly motivated in the DIY project department, and so the cello, one of only 60 ever made and the only surviving example with the original label still intact, sat in their back bedroom for more than a month before they saw a news report that tipped them off to the fact that this Stradivari fellow who had his name in the cello might be somebody important. It's not their fault, I suppose; I'm sure they tried calling every "Antonio Stradivari" in the phone book . . .