Please, Sir, May I Have Another (Verbal Bitch-Slap)?

Just when I think that I can't possibly be any more appalled by the comments that come out of this President's mouth, he manages yet again to surprise me. This week's stupidity was courtesy of his incredibly patronizing, condescending remarks made to Congressional leaders regarding the impending handoff of power in Iraq at the end of June:

"He talked about 'time to take the training wheels off,'" said Rep. Deborah Pryce, R-Ohio. "The Iraqi people have been in training, and now it's time for them to take the bike and go forward."

"Take the training wheels off"? How incredibly fucking insensitive can a person be? Here we are, supposedly waging a campaign to win the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people, and all our President can do is toss off remarks that make it abjectly clear to Iraqis that the highest levels of our government view them as mewling, puking toddlers who can barely wipe their own asses? If that's how we're going to "win them over," then let me suggest a list of additional metaphors to which the President is welcome to refer whenever he wants to further flatter our Iraqi friends:

• "trade in their Pampers for Pull-Ups"
• "lose their sippy cups"
• "switch from Barney to Nickelodeon"
• "straighten out their Krazy Straws"
• "cut the feet out of their Dr. Denton's"
• "put away the Candy Land and buy a G.I. fuckin' Joe"

I'm not sure if Sally Hemm..., er, I mean, Condi Rice reads Portable Soup every day, but if she does, maybe this list will get put to some good use.