Because Clown College Was Easier Than the Seminary, That's Why

News sources reported today that a man working under the professional name "Spanky the Clown" was arrested Friday on charges related to a child pornography investigation (insert your own joke here). It seems that Mr. Clown (or Thomas Allen Riccio, according to his arrest report) was allegedly foolish enough to use his credit card to purchase kiddie porn. Poor Spanky. Didn't he know that in Mr. Ashcroft's America, it doesn't take much for the government to find out what you're buying on the Internet? (I shouldn't limit my rant to the U.S., of course—just ask rocker-turned-pedophilia-researcher Pete Townshend.)

Granted, such governmental vigilance might be a good idea if what you're buying is a case of plastique, or a magazine from Belarus called "Super Pedomania," but gets a little more troubling when you just want to buy a nice dildo from the fine folks at Adam and Eve. Is that something that Mr. Ashcroft really needs to know about? It's people like him—and Spanky—who really give clowns a bad name.