Go for the Green

As much as it always pains me to admit it, it seems that my good friend Fang just might be on to something once again. Of late, he and the lovely Mrs. Fang have enjoyed quite the romantic affair—with the humble tea leaf. (Fang always has been partial to the Asians, though.) Beyond the nascent snob appeal of tea—which, it seems, is now the new olive oil, which itself a couple of years ago was the new wine—now we hear from reputable scientists that tea might just slow down the progression of Alzheimer's disease.

Seems that although black tea has some effect, you have to go for the green if you want balls-out protection. Makes sense, since the fermentation process applied to the black variety is already known to break down one of the key organic compounds (epigallocatechin gallate, or EGCg) that makes green tea so healthy. Previously it was discovered that the by-products of EGCg breakdown, theaflavins and thearubigens, gave black tea many of the same health benefits as green tea. But this latest study is really the first to show that there is a good reason to drink green tea, if not to the exclusion of black tea, at least in addition to it.

Of all the reasons that this makes me happy, perhaps the most heartwarming is that it minimizes the chances that one day, far in the future, I will have to confront a demented Cardinal Fang, sitting in his own excrement, drooling, and mumbling paranoid rants about how the police are out to kill us all . . .

On second thought, maybe it's already too late. :)

Lock Up Your Daughters

It seems that lately the President has been getting his ideas on the medical profession from David Cronenberg rather than that genial Dr. C. Everett Koop of Web site fame. It's times like these that I'm glad all I have to do is turn my head and cough. (Windows Media Player required, and turn up your sound even if you're at work. It's not embarrassing, I promise— except to Dubya.)

Of course, maybe it's just not the fairer sex who should be frightened to live in today's America, for it seems that Shrub is planning to turn the full resources of the government against us all.

The Passion of the Bush

For those of you who missed the first presidential debate last night, it unfolded pretty much as one might suspect. Mr. Kerry acquitted himself well, although perhaps not as admirably as one might reasonably expect of a Yale star debater, whilst Mr. Bush, when cornered by his opponent, resorted to repeating the same mantra ("That's not how a commander-in-chief acts") ad nauseam (literally so; I was unable to finish my second Earl-on-a-tortilla).

The Democratic National Committee has thoughtfully distilled the most entertaining portions of the evening—by which I mean Mr. Bush's facial expressions—into a short video montage that it quite accurately calls "Faces of Frustration." Bush campaign spinista Nicolle Devenish said after the debate that Mr. Bush's facial gymnastics merely showed his strong level of engagement. "The president reacted honestly. It showed the president really believes in his convictions," Devenish said.

Far more likely, at least to this observer, is that Mr. Bush was stifling an almost uncontrollable urge to begin speaking in tongues, channeling Jesus himself to answer the more complicated questions for him. Sure, you can laugh—but read this item first, in which estimable New York Times theatre-critic-turned-gadfly Frank Rich explores a new DVD entitled George W. Bush: Faith in the White House. (See, it's a double meaning.)

I think one of the questions asked by the moderator at any presidential debate, from now until Armageddon, should be, "Do you believe that God wants you to be President?" And if the answer is yes, well, we all know what to do then, don't we?