Bush's "Con"voy

Those of us who frequently make the jaunt up or down the second-most-dangerous deathtrap in Texas, IH-35, know all too well how hard it is to find that Zen-like speed that allows you to go slowly enough to avoid ramming into the back of the 18-wheeler in front of you while going fast enough to keep the 18-wheeler behind you from delivering a chrome enema.

Into that already treacherous environment, we now may add the tens of thousands of Mexican trucks that our safety-conscious President and Supreme Court have now given free reign of our highway system. I'm as shocked as you are that I'm quoting anything from Phyllis Schlafly and her generally frightening Eagle Forum, but I think it's important for people to realize the danger that is posed by the double-threat of poorly maintained, poorly inspected vehicles shooting up and down our interstates under the control of drivers who may, or more likely may not, have any familiarity with U.S. traffic laws or sufficient command of English to read traffic signs and warnings.

Don't get me wrong; I'm all for free trade, and I'm not standing in opposition to this incredibly stupid decision because of trade issues or job-loss concerns or any of that. I just don't want a 20-ton rattling deathtrap bearing down on me at 85 mph—or worse yet, pulling away from me as random parts fall off of it to the complete oblivion of the driver. I know, you're thinking, "Typical liberal, making up shit to scare people." Well, why don't you ask the Rev. Scott Willis how he feels about that?